Success…That one word probably has a different definition or some variation of it for every person reading this article.
I think it’s pretty safe to say, though, that whatever your definition happens to be, if you were asked if you wanted your kids to grow up to be successful, your quick answer would be, “Of course!”
One of my favorite quotes is from beloved American baseball player Yogi Berra, who said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
Yogi had a knack for mangling his words and rendering some pretty funny quotes.
But the profound thing about most of his sayings is that there’s usually a whole lot of truth in them if you look closely enough.
When it comes to being a dad, or anything else in life, if we don’t know where we’re going, we are most certainly going to end up someplace else
In this whole idea of success and being intentional in our parenting, we have to know “where we’re going,” if we are ever going to know whether we’re getting any closer or perhaps heading in the opposite direction.
How Do You Define Success?
If you travel very often, you know that it’s pretty common today for most of us to pull out our smart phones, GPS, or head to the computer when it’s time to search for directions to our destination
You probably have a favorite map program or app that is your “go to” place for routing your trip.
If you are like me, then you have more than once entered your starting location and your final destination, listened to the pleasant voice on the device giving you turn-by-turn directions, only to find out that the destination you finally arrived at is not where you intended to go.
You have a few choices at that point.
- You can try re-entering in the destination address and listening to the dulcet voice on the device saying, “Recalculating,”
- You can try a different map app and hope for a better outcome,
- You can stop and ask for directions, or
- Just give up and head back home.
Anyone who’s ever been a parent, including me, knows that it’s one of the most challenging, even terrifying, jobs a person can ever take on
Yes, being a parent certainly qualifies as a job
Not a particularly invigorating or inspirational word, is it?
Instead, the word conjures up all sorts of other words that may include drudgery, responsibility, thankless toiling and labor.
There’s no doubt that being a parent is a full-time job. But the good news is that mixed in with all of those challenges are also joy, excitement, anticipation, hope and great feelings of fulfillment.
The anticipation of planning for a child, giving birth and beginning the parent journey is one of the most exciting experiences in life. Seeing that newborn baby’s smiles and blissfulness rates right at the top when it comes to feelings of contentment and genuine happiness.
And then it happens…
I think it’s pretty safe to say that back to school time every year evokes a variety of emotions in both kids and parents.
Those emotions can span a wide space from excitement and happiness to utter dread filled with anxiety.
For kids who seem to have always navigated their school world with ease, going back every fall is something they look forward to doing. They feel excited to get back into their schedules and routines, they love meeting new teachers and friends and they have a truck load of confidence based on all of their previous school experiences.
If you’re the parent of that kid, congratulations!
But maybe you’re also the parent of a child or teen that can barely stand the thought of another school year beginning. They begin to dread every day leading up to the opening day of school.
As parents we all have worries and fears.
Statements of fear and worry often provide important clues to the underlying limiting beliefs that are lurking in our subconscious. Those fears and worries are often symptoms of a faulty belief system that we have as adults and need to challenge.
When I conducted a survey asking parents what their biggest fear was in regards to parenting I received the following results.
64% said Personal Failures as a Parent.
15% said Future Success/Happiness of Child.
13% said Safety and Security of Child.
8% said Negative Outside Influences on Child.
Another question I asked was ‘What do you worry most about as a parent?’. Here were the top responses.
26% said Personal Failures as a Parent.
25% said Future Success/Happiness of Child
As you can see, the answers to both questions are almost identical. In order to overcome these fears and worries that I like to call “Limiting Beliefs”, We have to start by intentionally confronting our beliefs and making assessments about which ones are actually limiting us. by intentionally increasing our awareness of our limiting beliefs and how they impact our parenting, we can begin to break this cycle in the parenting of our children. Then and only then can we as parents begin to see the enormous power in being intentional about challenging our limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering beliefs.