Some people are task oriented, while others are people oriented. Some people are more outgoing and some people are more reserved.
Your personality has a huge impact on how you lead.
There are four types of personality styles, DOMINANT, INSPIRING, SUPPORTIVE, and CAUTIOUS. Every personality style has BOTH strengths and blind spots. Being more aware of your personality style will make you a more effective leader.
Let’s look at these four personality styles a little closer:
People who are both task oriented and outgoing tend to lead from the front. Their attitude is “I’m going, follow me!” They tend to lead DIRECTIVELY. They have a DOMINANT personality style.
People who are both people oriented and outgoing, tend to lead INSPIRATIONALLY. They tend to lead from the middle of the pack. They lead by inspiring others to join them in the adventure! They have an INSPIRING personality style.
People who are both people oriented and more reserved tend to lead SUPPORTIVELY. They lead from behind by encouraging their followers or team to accomplish their goals by encouragement and supportive words. They have a SUPPORTIVE personality style.
People who are both task oriented and more reserved tend to lead CAREFULLY. They lead from the side making sure that everyone is moving along together, on the same page and following the same procedures. They have a CAUTIOUS personality style
So no matter what your personality style is, it is important to remember that everyone can learn and grow to become a more dynamic and effective leader.
“You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that there are limits.” – Robert Anthony
Previously, I mentioned the term “Limiting Beliefs”. Fears and worries are the key ingredients that make up our limiting beliefs. While the best way to get rid of those limiting beliefs is to turn to positive thinking and turn them into “Empowering Beliefs”. It’s important that we first think more about exactly what empowering beliefs are and how to successfully incorporate them into our thinking habits.
Author Mikael Olsson, in his book Handbook of Success: How to Make Your Life What You Want It to Be, explains some important things about the concept of empowering beliefs. He shares that there are many empowering beliefs that can enhance your quality of life. You can find them by considering what you would have to believe in order to be, have, or do what you want in life.
We must take our Limiting Beliefs and transform them into Empowering Beliefs.
Here is an example:
Limiting Belief: I am a bad influence on my kids through my own weaknesses.
Empowering Belief: There is no failure, only feedback. What we learn from every experience and every response is only information that tells us whether we are being effective or not.
So what are the five steps of breaking the cycle of Limiting Beliefs?
- Discover Parent Limiting Beliefs
- Change Parent Limiting Beliefs to empowering Beliefs
- Discover Child Limiting Beliefs
- Change Child Limiting Beliefs to empowering Beliefs
- Child empowering Beliefs lead to Thinking Their Way to Lifelong Successes
Once you begin to change your own Limiting Beliefs into Empowering beliefs, you can then work on doing the same with your children. In the end, the outcome you want to achieve, is empowered children who know how to recognize their own limiting beliefs and who possesses the tools to change them to empowering beliefs so they can begin to think their way to lifelong successes!
Have you ever wondered why it seems that some parents have all the answers?
Why it looks like their kids are always clean, well behaved, and on their way to perfection? Well, don’t be fooled. It may appear that way, but I can assure you no parent gets out alive without experiencing the questioning, doubts, and fears that accompany a role that’s so high-stakes and important to each of us.
So what is the key to great parenting? Great and effective parenting requires thinking. It is really that simple!
Like many things in life, thinking like a “Super Hero Parent”, largely depends on your attitude. Attitudes. We all have them. For better or for worse, they set us up for success or utter failure. As parents, our attitudes about ourselves, our kids, and our ability to think differently about being an effective parent are the secret ingredients in our success. Holding on to the right attitude, despite our circumstances, is one of the very first commitments that we have to make in our thinking if we are serious about this journey in parenting.
As adults and parents with many experiences behind us we all possess the super power of reflective thinking. If we can learn to harness this power, we can then think like the “super Hero Parent” we are. So if reflective thinking causes us to gain insights, then we need to decide today to become more reflective thinkers as parents.
As your awareness of what is required for great and effective parenting is being nurtured and increased, you can become armed and ready to move on to the next important element of successful parenting. Remember, it’s not enough to just know what you need to do. Great parenting has to be intentional.
People will not follow you just because you have a position or a title. Leadership must be EARNED and that comes from INFLUENCE.
The way you grow your influence is to make the lives of the people you lead better…add value! Adding value needs to be a life style, not just a philosophy. Delivering value as a leader does not involve criticizing, blaming, and belittling. It is focused on uplifting and enriching your people to dream bigger and accomplish their goals.
“Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. “ John Maxwell
Three questions every follower asks of a leader, even if the words are never spoken:
- Do you care for me?
- Can you help me?
- Can I trust you?
If your followers believe that you care for them, that you can help them and that they can trust you, they will follow you!
Now, ask yourself these questions:
- How can I be more intentional about adding value to my followers?
- How can I help my followers experience more success?
- Am I making things better for the people that follow me?
- Am I currently leaning on or lifting my followers?
Not only do you have to have a goal as a leader of serving others, you have to keep growing as a leader in order to keep giving followers what they need. You cannot give what you do not have.
Knowing your personality style will make you a more effective leader, whether you are more task or people oriented; more outgoing or more reserved, your personality has strengths and struggles. We can easily identify our strengths but are often unaware of our struggles; we call these our blind spots.
There are 4 types of blind spots:
- The DOMINANT personality style leader is direct, decisive and has lots of drive; however, their blind spots tend to be delegating tasks but keeping control, deciding before getting enough details, and ignoring relational issues.
- The INSPIRING personality style leader is influential, interesting and leads with enthusiasm and humor; however, their blind spots tend to be focusing on talking rather than doing, being unorganized and lacking direction.
- The SUPPORTIVE personality style leader is stable, steady and relational; however, their blind spots tend to be that they avoid confrontation, are indecisive due to a fear of consequences of a wrong decision, and when overwhelmed, they tend to shut down or withdraw.
- The CAUTIOUS personality style leader is competent, careful, and contemplative; however, their blind spots tend to be that they ignore people issues, they procrastinate on taking action due to over analysis and being too picky or perfectionistic.
The dictionary defines “tradeoff” as “a technique of reducing or forgoing one or more desirable outcomes in exchange for increasing or obtaining other desirable outcomes in order to maximize the total return or effectiveness under given circumstances.”
“You have to give up to go up!” John Maxwell
Tradeoffs are part of our lives and they force us to make difficult changes in our lives. Although we experience all kinds of tradeoffs all through our lives, the higher you climb, the tougher the tradeoff. The skills, knowledge and experiences that got you where you are as a leader are not the same skills, knowledge and experiences that will take you to higher levels in leadership. There are always tradeoffs. The question is, is it a bad tradeoff or a good tradeoff?
Some good tradeoffs leaders
o Trading immediate gratification/satisfaction for greater personal growth
o Trading a “busy” calendar for a “purposeful” one
o Trading your comfort zone for more personal growth
o Trading success for significance
o Trading temporary wins for a long term legacy of influence
Since we cannot see the future, we need a plan and a process to move forward. Viewing decision-making as navigating between trade-offs by consciously selecting a course of action that optimizes for a chosen objective can remove much of the stress associated with making decisions and help us excel in our business.
Many of us who have had the joy of becoming parents, often rely on our instincts and our personal upbringing to shape our parental decisions. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. The main point here is that it isn’t an exact science.
However, what if I told you it could be? While some things will always be out of your control, you can be intentional about your decisions when it comes to parenting. Being intentional means that you are taking a stand against putting your life and your parenting on autopilot.
Great parents do some things “on purpose.” Effective parents are “deliberate” about what they do. (Tweetable!)
A great way to begin is to have some way of recording your thoughts and insights, perhaps in a notebook or a journal or on an electronic tablet. Once you have something to record your thoughts, think about the parenting decisions you have made in the last week and their outcomes.
Were you satisfied with the outcomes of your decisions, or do you wish you had done things differently? It is only when we become intentional in our thinking and reflections about the decisions we make and the actions we take as parents that we begin to stand even the slightest chance of evaluating the results as effective or ineffective.
While some of us are forced to do it on our own, when two parents are involved, changing the way you make parenting decisions works much better if both parents are involved in the reflective thinking process.
Thinking + Reflection + Intentionality + Action = Success