Success…That one word probably has a different definition or some variation of it for every person reading this article.
I think it’s pretty safe to say, though, that whatever your definition happens to be, if you were asked if you wanted your kids to grow up to be successful, your quick answer would be, “Of course!”
One of my favorite quotes is from beloved American baseball player Yogi Berra, who said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
Yogi had a knack for mangling his words and rendering some pretty funny quotes.
But the profound thing about most of his sayings is that there’s usually a whole lot of truth in them if you look closely enough.
When it comes to being a dad, or anything else in life, if we don’t know where we’re going, we are most certainly going to end up someplace else
In this whole idea of success and being intentional in our parenting, we have to know “where we’re going,” if we are ever going to know whether we’re getting any closer or perhaps heading in the opposite direction.
How Do You Define Success?
If you travel very often, you know that it’s pretty common today for most of us to pull out our smart phones, GPS, or head to the computer when it’s time to search for directions to our destination
You probably have a favorite map program or app that is your “go to” place for routing your trip.
If you are like me, then you have more than once entered your starting location and your final destination, listened to the pleasant voice on the device giving you turn-by-turn directions, only to find out that the destination you finally arrived at is not where you intended to go.
You have a few choices at that point.
- You can try re-entering in the destination address and listening to the dulcet voice on the device saying, “Recalculating,”
- You can try a different map app and hope for a better outcome,
- You can stop and ask for directions, or
- Just give up and head back home.
One of the greatest joys in life is finding and being with a person who is your best friend. A friend who is your confidant in times of trouble and one that you can share a glance with and know exactly what they are thinking.
You imagine finding this person that you can share your craziest dreams with and know that they understand you. You laugh, you cry, you love.
Most people can spend a life time looking for just such a person.
Sometimes, when we are young, we enter into committed relationships having little to no idea what all of that really means and how to find it.
We are blissfully in love with this person who makes us feel good about ourselves and life in general. It seems like the world could completely stop and it wouldn’t matter as long as we had this special someone right by our side.
But sometimes during that first marriage or serious relationship, we begin to notice irritating things about the other person that was probably there all along. But now that some time has passed, we have more time to notice the things that previously we dismissed as quickly as they came into our awareness.
Anyone who’s ever been a parent, including me, knows that it’s one of the most challenging, even terrifying, jobs a person can ever take on
Yes, being a parent certainly qualifies as a job
Not a particularly invigorating or inspirational word, is it?
Instead, the word conjures up all sorts of other words that may include drudgery, responsibility, thankless toiling and labor.
There’s no doubt that being a parent is a full-time job. But the good news is that mixed in with all of those challenges are also joy, excitement, anticipation, hope and great feelings of fulfillment.
The anticipation of planning for a child, giving birth and beginning the parent journey is one of the most exciting experiences in life. Seeing that newborn baby’s smiles and blissfulness rates right at the top when it comes to feelings of contentment and genuine happiness.
And then it happens…
I think it’s pretty safe to say that back to school time every year evokes a variety of emotions in both kids and parents.
Those emotions can span a wide space from excitement and happiness to utter dread filled with anxiety.
For kids who seem to have always navigated their school world with ease, going back every fall is something they look forward to doing. They feel excited to get back into their schedules and routines, they love meeting new teachers and friends and they have a truck load of confidence based on all of their previous school experiences.
If you’re the parent of that kid, congratulations!
But maybe you’re also the parent of a child or teen that can barely stand the thought of another school year beginning. They begin to dread every day leading up to the opening day of school.
Have you ever found yourself trying really hard to be a better listener when your teenager is talking but rarely feeling like you’ve had success. I’ve discovered that many times, I was making some important listening mistakes and I didn’t even know it.
In a recent article in Psychology Today, 9 Listening Mistakes That Will Damage Your Relationships, author Amy Moran says that listening shouldn’t be a passive activity—it requires active participation.
As a parent, really listening to your teen can get pretty dicey at times.
We actually can make the issue worse by how we listen (or not), and how we choose to show up in our teen’s lives when they need us the most.
You can hone your skills by knowing some of the listening mistakes with your teen you may already be making.
One of my very favorite things to do in the whole world is to lead a Master Mind Group. It is such an amazing feeling to watch the light bulbs of people come on as they have critical breakthroughs right in front of your eyes. A few months ago, I was privileged to lead a Master Mind Group on an amazing book called, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. The more I read and study the truths contained in that book, the more I view it as a great treasure. And here’s why…
Loss…it’s something every person that’s ever drawn a breath can relate to. Big losses, small losses, medium sized losses…it really doesn’t matter, we’ve all been there. I discovered as I led the Master Mind Group that most of us really don’t “get” that we are not unique regarding experiencing loss. We think that somehow, we must be the only one experiencing them.
It was a great eye opener to those in this Master Mind group to hear the stories of great loss that some in the group openly shared. What they shared helped put and keep things in perspective. It’s pretty impactful when we think we have such huge mountains of despair and loss only to find out that the person that’s been sitting right there next to you for an hour each week has just lost a parent, a child or a spouse. Kind of gives you that kick in the pants to have a more realistic picture of what is going on around you and realize that, since we all do experience loss, how we can focus on the ‘Learn” when it happens.
|Date:||April 27, 2016|
|Event:||Waukesha County Technical College Administrative Professionals Day|
|Sponsor:||WCTC School of Business, Carl D. Perkins Nontraditional Occupations Grant, IAAP , and Collegiate SHRM.|
|Venue:||Waukesha County Technical College|